Thursday, October 21, 2010

Update on My Madness

Have I figured everything out? Ofcourse not! Have I lost some weight? Who knows? Have I been dong the program 100% Bells yes! Do I like exercising...no! Do I like writing in my journal everyday and reading scriptures...yes!
The food thing is kinda funny...I don't miss the sugar at all...white flour avoidance is a nuisance...eating fruit...easy...eating veggies...not so bad. Drinking all my water makes me pee all the time...another nuisance. So I try to have it all in me by suppertime.
The 7 hours of sleep has been easier than I thought it would be...I have only had to have a short nap once in over 3 weeks. No eating after 8 is so easy since I hate eating after 6...makes my tummy hurt.
Doing an act of kindness has been super easy since I love doing things for my friends and family.
So tell me why I am hating this? Is it because deep down inside I hate being told what I can and cannot do? Is it something deeper? I want to do the whole 8 weeks but I am not enjoying this...my butt hurts...and I have to pee all the time.
The motto for this challenge is "I can do hard things"...maybe I can do hard things when I don't have a choice but would anyone really choose to do hard things? I like soft things...like my bed...clouds and fluffy towels. Hard things are yucky like sugar free candies that get stuck in your throat, cranky old people and my bicycle seat.
Do I sound like a spoiled kid who doesn't want to clean up a mess they made? Wait don't answer that! I want/like to exercise...but I am having trouble finding something that doesn't hurt my butt or aggravate my plantar fasciitis...my pool is out of the question now..way chilly! We are strapped right now with Cory working only part time...so joining a gym has to wait.
Someone call a waaambulance... I am such a whiner right now.
Lets switch to the positive...I feel good overall. I know I have lost inches...my clothes are fitting a bit differently. Jonece and Dene have cut way back on their sugar intake...Jonece is even doing most of my challenges with me. I have started journalling again...I am sleeping better...I have more energy...my psoriasis looks great...I am finding some kick butt no sugar recipes...I am enjoying Meredith's rolls with whole wheat flour. I am sure there are a lot more positives but right now I can't think of any. I just got back from a hour long bike ride and I need a shower.
I have made no progress mentally...I still have no idea why I...on some level...fear losing weight. I will continue to try and figure it...promise me you will all continue to pray for me...I have to keep going and I can't do it alone.
Love to all
One sore butt L

2 comments:

6jardines said...

Sorry Sis! Change is so crappy some times! If it was easy we would have done this a long time ago!!! Hang in there!...we are worth it!
Focus on the positives and reward yourself with something...like a craft night with your sister...we'll drink water and piss our pants. :)

BusyMama said...

Prayers! I'm so impressed that you've done so much already. You inspire. :)