Yes it is 3am and I can't sleep. I have a cold with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. I am not complaining just stating the facts. I am surrounded by so much illness right now I would feel like an idiot if I was whining about a little cold.
My Grandma...the lady I grew up loving so much, is dying. She had a few little stokes but she is slipping away and I can't go see her. I don't have my Canadian passport yet.
Cory's mom just got diagnosed with colon cancer and is having her surgery Thursday morning. This just after his dad had his major heart attack and surgery. Both my parents are in poor health and I feel so far away.
Don't get me wrong I know that this life is just a pinprick in time and that when we die we are reunited with our loved ones. I am not sad for my Grandma, she has led an inspiring long life. I am sad that my girls didn't really get the chance to know her and spend time with her. I hope she knows how much I love her. She is the best! When I was a kid I would go up to Parry Sound (northern Ontario) and spend a few weeks every summer. I have the best memories of her. Except she loved to bake with walnuts...I hate walnuts.
Death is such a funny thing. Not ha ha funny the peculiar kind of funny. I am not afraid to die, and I have been to my fair share of funerals and lost a few loved ones. To me death is a tragedy when a young person dies especially children and parents of young children...it is so sad to think a child would grow up without a mom or a dad. But as we grow older it is not a tragedy so much...just hard to say goodbye for a while.
When Twain died I asked God to take me home before anyone else so I would never have to bury someone I loved again but I have relented and no longer feel that way. It is hard to watch parents and grandparents struggle with health issues but it is part of growing older. Hearts don't last forever...yet.
Wow I am a downer at 3 am...sorry for the sad post.
Call your grandparents and parents...tell them how you feel.